Our Story

In 2012, I found myself struggling to keep my rocky marriage in tact, while raising two children on my own with a spouse living and working overseas for 97% of almost every year that we were married. I was a stay-at-home mother, homeschooling two small children. In the summer of that year, my beloved mother died unexpectedly, during a routine hospital procedure due to medical negligence. As an only child, to say that I adored my mother was an understatement. She was my everything. We had our challenges like any other mother/daughter, but there was no one else on this Earth who could make me laugh, give me confidence or set me straight like she could. I suddenly felt orphaned at just shy of 30 years old, with two young children who loved her dearly. For my father and I, our world seemed to shatter in an instant. I seemed to lose the capacity to tolerate anything or anyone at that time, with no emotional bandwidth whatsoever. I was tapped out of tears.

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Within a couple of weeks of her passing, my husband and I agreed to divorce. The timing was out of my control, so I had to focus on my divorce instead of properly mourning and grieving the loss of my mother and greatest confidante. I quickly realized there was a speeding train of divorce heading my way, with no understanding of the legal process, the terminology, my rights as a wife and mother, or how we would manage financially. The rug was being ripped out from under me, and I had no friends or family that had been through this process. What was once a rare occurrence among family and friends, has now become a norm in the last 10+ years. YouTube was still limited to very short videos at the time. Instagram was non-existent. Facebook became my only source of support, and even that was "slim-pickins" compared to the many support groups available for women today. The group was sort of like the blind leading the blind, but it was all I had at the time. 

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Over the next two years, I would learn many lessons the hard way, from common tactics used by the opposing party, to how to advocate for myself as a homeschool parent, with research and evidence to win my case. Though visitation was like our little version of forced torture, I understood that the kids and I were meant to learn some difficult lessons, and the sooner we learned the lessons intended for us, the faster we would be delivered from that experience. Sure enough, two years later the dreaded visitation was no longer an issue.  

Once the divorce was finalized, it was time to figure out how I was going to move forward in a life that didn't look anything like I had envisioned it as a young lady. I remember promising myself that if I managed to get through the worst time of my life, I would do everything I could to offer education, support and encouragement to other parents. As much as I believed in marriage, I couldn't believe that I was raising children as a single mother. I was determined to create a positive legacy out of my circumstance.

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Over the next several years, we were homeless for three months and had to live in an extended-stay,

we moved 5 times, I reinvented myself and my small business endeavors, I was on food stamps for 5 years and felt horrible about it the entire time. I met hundreds of single mothers and fathers who shared their own "war stories" and I began to see some commonalities in all of the experiences. In addition to the many mental and physical notes I took, I also continued my own education, to strengthen the areas I knew would be necessary in serving others professionally, if I could ever do more than just help as a one-woman effort.

I began developing a program that would not just meet the urgent needs of parents fighting to save their marriages, but also for individuals moving through separation and divorce, keeping stress and trauma to a minimum.

 

At the root of the program, I realized that the mission was to break the cycle of broken families in America.

There were signs and stories all around the country, where children were paying the highest price for relationships that adults couldn't sustain. I understood the key areas that needed focus, but I had to be able to answer the big question: "If the integrity of our country's family structure has deteriorated in the last three to four generations,

how can we turn things around so that our children and grandchildren may experience healthy, loving relationships of their own?"

The answer is in educating and empowering the parents that are raising this current generation.

 

It wasn't enough to just serve the Northern Virginia area - thanks to the internet, we can help parents anywhere in the United States. We even have people who reach out internationally! Our entire team is comprised of men and women who have raised their children as single parents, so we understand trials and heartache, but we also know triumph and fortitude. Nonprofit life certainly isn't for the faint of heart, but it's a labor of love. Witnessing the change in a parent's spirit when they no longer feel alone, is proof that we need to keep growing. A parent that can set a positive example for the children turns the tide for the future. 

Breaking the cycle of broken families is a big goal, but by creating awareness about our organization, and with your generous support, we can grow this mission and create a healthier generation of families who can thrive. 

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To all the parents who never wanted to raise their kids this way, this organization is for you.

Let's make something good come out of our circumstances.

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- Bahar

Founder & Executive Director

FamilyWise USA